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Like a virgin

“Don’t allow your daughter to join horse riding,” advised my mother. The reason for this comment was coming out of her concern for safety- not of my seven-year-old daughter, but the safety of her virginity.

Virginity is an obsession in certain cultures as it depicts purity and celibacy, an imperative for a prospective bride. A woman’s character is judged by her virginity, especially in a conservative society and virginity is an obvious testimony to her piety. Even in religions other than Islam, it is a revered quality in a woman. Mary is the epitome of holiness, not because she was the mother of Jesus, but probably because she was ‘The Virgin.’

In some traditional households, the bedsheets of a wedding bed are still checked by the elders of the family for blood stains. Just like when you buy a goat you check its teeth, a bride’s virginity is checked and approved of by her hymen’s sanctity.

I had these thoughts in the background when I was asked to research and write on “revirginising” creams available in Pakistan and the feminist in me roared. I read a few articles on the launch of the “18 again” cream in India that had caused great hue and cry from feminists across the country. I checked the availability of such creams in Pakistan and much to my delight, I found them discreetly tucked away in pharmacies or selling online under labels such as “Lady Secret.”

I did some research on how these creams work and realized that they’re not something that can make you a virgin again. They are tightening creams that are intended to increase a woman’s pleasure, especially after losing her form after giving birth to a child. There are international women’s forums that discuss the use of such ointments by women all over the world, not out of their obsession with virginity or piety but simply out of the wish to improve their sex lives.

Feminists should be happy that there are products available in a conservative “Muslim” country like Pakistan that give women options to enhance their sexual experience. I read in an article in a local blog that these products compelled a woman to alter her physicality so that she is accepted into a person’s life or family. But then, one should also question the use of lipsticks and other cosmetics, high heels and all other things that women “choose” to use to artificially enhance their beauty and sex appeal.

The main ingredient in these creams is potassium alum, commonly known as “phitkar”’ which is used to purify water and also in leather tanning, dyeing, fireproof textiles, and baking powder. It also is used in deodorants. There are many old wives’ myths about this chemical in our culture  especially linked to beauty. I remember someone telling me once to rub alum on armpits to make them fair and spotless. I never tried it to confirm or refute this tip’s effectiveness. So my next question was, do these revirginising creams work?

A female cosmetologist (who refused to be named in this article associated with a sexual product) confirmed that these creams, although not harmful, are as ineffective as most old wives myths. She was quick to add that there are effective surgical options to tighten one’s vagina, the services of which are also offered by her clinic (I believe I am free to reveal her clinic’s name in case someone is interested in the surgery!)

When feminists run around naked (remember Femen?) claiming that their bodies belong to no one, they should realize that products such as “revirginising creams” are nothing but another choice that a woman may use or reject for her own reasons. I do disagree with the advertisements which claim that one would “feel like a virgin again.” But then, advertising only says what will appeal to the masses.

I will certainly have a different opinion when it comes to “fake virginity kits,” which are available online in Pakistan as well. That is where woman as the representative of her society’s honor comes into play and virginity becomes a commodity.

Pakistani women, like women from any other country, like to have sex and not just to reproduce and increase the size of the Muslim Ummah. They have all the right to enhance their pleasure. How they choose to do it is their own choice.

Author: Soofia Says

Editor: Manasi Gopalakrishnan

 

 

Date

03.09.2013 | 15:16

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