Equal rights for girls - and boys!

We often make the mistake of equating the definition of gender with women. ‘Gender equality,’ ‘gender and education,’ ‘gender and…’ almost always mean women and fighting for the rights of women. From the higher authorities such as the UN to the basic family level, war has been waged almost literally to protect the rights of the female gender – and rightfully so. I am certain that the strides that have been made even in the western world with regards to the emancipation of women would not have been possible had there been no sacrifices made before.

Nevertheless, I tend to think that male children have been forgotten! The emphasis on girls and their education has shifted the focus away from boys. Organizations troop in from the West and thousands more mushroom locally to protect girls and to promote the empowerment of women. But what about the boys? I feel like it may get to the point that the education of boys will need the same support from others in society beyond the family!

I think we’ve come a long way. I know that modern day parents – especially in urban areas and in my generation – do not discriminate between boys and girls. Schools and even the government have made deliberate decisions to make it easier for girls to attend schools. Just recently, Prime Minister Raila Odinga was raising money for sanitary towels and undergarments for girls in disadvantaged homes so that they would go to school. Also, the government has lowered the pass-mark for girls so that they can get into university with lower marks.

I think that from the outset, girls and boys do not have the same playing field. That lowers expectations for girls and women, but not when it comes to employment. Those who have gotten used to these kinds of favors may have difficulties in the job market.

Same schools, but different standards for girls and boys

Despite these measures taken by the government and other organizations, the challenges and the difference still exist in what Maria refers to as ‘social contracts’ in her blog. Hellgurd also mentions something very interesting. He notes that it becomes more difficult for boys and girls to be friends as they grow older. I find that true as well. As women enter adulthood, society (mostly the men) expects the woman to fit ‘into her shoes’ and ‘not break the rules’ set by society. The situation may not be as bad as in Iraq, but there are still career areas in Kenya and that are the preserve of men. For instance, civil engineering, jobs where heavy machines are used along with other jobs are considered the male turf.

I believe the onus is on women to set an agenda for themselves and the other girls around them. In my opinion, girls should not be awarded any special favors – especially when it does not help in removing barriers to a girls’ education. Additionally, there needs to be an equal emphasis on boys’ education. After all, we do not live in a world with only women!

Gender equality - a lot has changed, but more needs to be done

I wanted to write about women in Iraq this weekend, so I decided to meet with some from different walks of life. That way I could have a better sense of what females are feeling and thinking about in life and how much freedom they feel like they have. Now I want to describe some of the highlights.

First, I met a friend who teaches at a primary school. She’s married and has a kid. She is quite pleased with the freedom women have in this century.

“This freedom is still not enough – though much better than what we had in past decades,” she said.

“I think it’s better for girls to get married to someone whose occupation is the same as hers or at least similar – that way they understand each other better. I have a child, though, so working can be a problem because I have to send him to a nursery, and I’m not sure whether he will be as well behaved as I want. But I have no choice,” my friend added.

Me, conducting interviews

Next I talked with an unemployed young woman who graduated from a media college three years ago. She got a government job at one point but is very upset with what happened.

“The work depended sometimes on whether they were in the mood to employ you. Other times it just depended on what they thought about your specialty and whether it was popular,” she said angrily.

The third one was an old woman who never got to go to school when she was young. She had tears in her eyes when she talked to me.

“Son,” she started to say very sweetly, “When I was young, I lived in a village with my family. We had no school in the village – we didn’t even know exactly what school was. It was just the mosques that would teach our men and boys how to learn to write and read. Sometimes they had to leave their villages to do so. Back then, very few women were allowed to study, and that was only in the big cities,” she said.

A brighter future for the next generation?

“I feel very sad that I can’t enjoy this life because I feel like a blind person: I can’t read or write or join in modern life. But, fortunately, I can see my kids and future generations living full lives now. I remember sometimes that a letter would come for someone in the village, and there was no one to read it. Instead, we had to wait until the men came back. In those days, that was very normal, but when I compare it with now, I feel like it was such a disaster,” she continued with a heavy heart.

I think these three examples showcase the status of women in general in my country. They also show that change has been made over time. I hope we can have a better life among these changes, but we still have to try to do more. As the young generation, we should work on changing how the people in government think.

Universities are open to men and women, but the job market is a much different story

In my experience in Iraq, the opportunities open to the genders differ according to social setting, age, geographical area and religious believes. We have equality more or less during early childhood, but you still see some differences in how boys and girls are treated.

I think that the opportunities open to males are not limited. They have choices from childhood onward, and they are even allowed to bend the rules. But females are always limited in the chances they have, specifically starting around age 14. Women have to struggle to get their own rights and freedoms, and many of them have sacrificed themselves to provide the freedoms others have today.

Personally, I had no chance to go to kindergarten because of the war between Iraq and Iran. Instead, I had to flee my country with my family. But now I am a kindergarten teacher, and I believe in equality between the children. In general, the kids seem very happy, and I believe their freedom is very different from what we experienced in the past. In kindergarten, both of the genders are allowed to be placed together in the classrooms or during activities. They can play, sit next to each other, eat and sing together.

This may seem strange for you because this is a very basic right, but what do you do if you don’t have it? Sometimes you do still have to ask permission from their parents for certain things – even if you just want to let them take part in a very small activity or program.

Today's generation enjoys more freedom than mine did

When I was in primary school, I felt that both genders could be friends easily, but that it got harder to be friends once we got older. Starting in secondary school, I felt that lots of girls wanted to form friendships with the boys – but that was hard because being friends with males was viewed as an impossible right for them to have.

We have mixed primary schools, a lot of mixed secondary schools but very few mixed high schools. All of our colleges, institutes and universities are for both of the genders. I know so many women who graduated from school but are now unemployed because they haven’t had a chance to work. Some of them are able to freelance, but they may not get permission from their parents to do so.

In terms of jobs, men have completely different opportunities. Males can do whatever they want, but as I mentioned above, females always have to think about not breaking the rules they get from their parents or from the men in their lives. Women can apply for some specific government jobs in this country, but the situation they face explains why women can almost never earn more money than their husbands. In cases where that happens, they may have to share the money with men or they may be allowed to spend it only on necessities.