I can’t qualify to be a “Desperate housewife” because I have tried my hand at baking and simply lack the talent. I can’t identify myself with “Sex & the City” because I don’t live in a spectacular city. I am not obsessed with sex and most definitely don’t have a shoe fetish.

I can’t relate to the Bridget Jones Syndrome. I don’t work in a beautiful hospital with gorgeous doctors, I am not a detective and not an anthropologist. I am approaching my 30th birthday and am having a crisis! I don’t have a ring on my finger, no baby on my hip and no definite career path! To add to that, I don’t know what kind of woman I really want to be. What kind of message do I want to send out and how do I really want to be treated?

If I were to compare myself to a car, then the men who drove me in the past handled me pretty recklessly. It began with my father who gave me the first dent. One got used to it and after a while the dent didn’t look so bad. But you can never really rid a car of its dents without leaving a trace!

Every new relationship brings with it a new set of expectations from both sides. We hone the package, add some ingredients and leave out some expectations over time. We reinvent ourselves anew after every relationship. We ask ourselves what went wrong. What could have possibly gone wrong! We ask ourselves who is it that we really want to be.
Do I want to be the women who waits and expects a man to open a door for me, help me with my jacket or do I want to be the woman at the steering wheel who can jump out and fix a flat tire in a jiffy? Do I want to resent men because of the baggage I am carrying with me? Or do I want to find the one man who matches my wavelength and gives me all warmth I need?

Do I want to be the woman who waits for a knight on a white horse to sweep me off my feet? Or Do I want to be the woman who has her feet firmly planted on the ground? Do I want to be Martha Stewart or do I want my man to cook me a meal? Do I want him to stand next to me or do I want to stand next to him? Do I have to be either or? Do I want to be both or do I want to be none? Do I want to choose at all?

Roma Rajpal

Roma is a freelance journalist. Please write your comments at the end of this page or write to us at womentalk@dw.de. You can also find us on Facebook at DW-Women Talk Online.