When we look for achievements to rejoice, the lack of them leads us to our failures. But the realization of our failures is also extremely important to overcome hurdles and strengthen our resolve for a better future.

2013 has been yet another tumultuous year for women in Pakistan. When I look back, many tragic incidents stand out but quite a few women have had successes to make us proud.

If the women of Pakistan do anything that has any semblance of normalcy, it is considered a miracle by feminists and a profanity by fundamentalists. Each step is either towards progress or religious sacrilege. The same conditioning came into play when Pakistan’s Women’s cricket team became an established entity in the 1990s.

Her new husband was out of a job. Luckily, she wasn’t. She was mighty pleased with herself to be capable of supporting her very fresh marriage in such times of crisis. After all, it was her first opportunity to prove her utility beyond the household. Although the task of managing her home together with work was exhausting, she was optimistic.

A friend asked me the other day, “Why are you such an intimidating feminist?” I replied, “Have you ever been slapped and abused only because you were not a son?” My friend was silent, almost sympathetic. I wasn’t. “Have you been raped and couldn’t do anything about it because that man was your husband?”

While the world is giving Malala Yousafzai outstanding accolades, Pakistan is on the brink of a wild frenzy on coming up with conspiracy theories. There is a limited group of people who hail her as a hero, but most have labelled her a traitor.

“It’s been more than a year since my trauma. I still get nightmares and I find myself unable to trust any man. I am scared of getting married or having kids. My biggest fear is that the same thing might happen to someone I love, that someone I love might get raped.”